Relieve My Pain
by misspin
Summary: Ginny Weasley seems to have a perfectly nice life, but when things start going wrong in her fifth year she finds a new way to deal with things.


Title – Relieve My Pain  
  
Author – Scarred  
  
Rating – PG 13 for self abuse, may be raised to R later depending on where I decide this is going.  
  
Summery – Ginny Weasley seems to have a perfectly nice life, but when things start going wrong in her fifth year she finds a new way to deal with things.  
  
A/N – Okay this is the first chapter of my new Harry Potter fan fic. I hope you all enjoy it, I'm hoping to be working mainly on this one for quite a while. I'm expecting it to reach around twenty chapters but I'm not entirely sure at this point.  
  
Now I suspect that being the youngest of seven children is never easy, but being the youngest girl who has six older brothers is in a league of it's own. Now don't get me wrong, I love my brothers with all of my heart, but sometimes I really get to wishing that I was an only child.  
  
My name is Virginia Weasley, but everyone calls me Ginny and this is my story.  
  
I suppose it all started when I was born, as the story of most people does. I was born into a family which already consisted of eight lovely people. I grew up in our cozy little house which we all fondly refer to as the burrow. I have two loving parents who manage, if not barely, to feed, clothe and educate me. When I was eleven I was sent to school as most witches and wizards are. I attended Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardry, along with my four of my brothers (two of them had already graduated by the time I was enrolled).  
  
Now my first year at Hogwarts was rather traumatic actually. I was used as a tool of evil by the Dark Lord himself. Yes that's right, He Who Must Not Be Named possessed me by means of a diary. What a conversation piece eh? Only it tends to have more of a negative effect where I end up sitting in a corner alone with everyone trying to keep at least a ten foot radius from of me at all times. Well anyways He Who Must Not Be Named, who presented himself as Tom Riddle at the time, used me to open the Chamber of Secrets and sick a basilisk on my fellow students. Luckily for me Harry Potter, who I kindly refer to as Boy Wonder, was there to save the day. Long story short he defeated Tom and rescued me. I suppose you could say that I was rather taken with dear Harry that year.  
  
My second, third and fourth years were quite an improvement on my first. Not once was I possessed, which was rather nice. There was that whole situation with Order of Phoenix and the ministry and He Who Must Not Be Named in my fourth year, but I wasn't at any point possessed during that, so in the end it was fine by me. Besides I did get to play quidditch that year. Granted the only reason I got on the team was because Harry and my dear twin brothers Fred and George weren't allowed to play thanks to that awful Umbridge woman, but I like to over look that particular detail when I think back.  
  
My fifth year was when things began to go sour. I don't really know what changed, in fact some times I don't think that anything did. Mum and dad were so proud of Ron for making prefect, which hadn't bothered me the year before, but after my Hogwarts letter came with no notification of my being a prefect it suddenly did. I was always an average student really, my grades weren't terrible, but they weren't anything to brag about either. It was that summer that I realized how much my brothers had given me to live up to and how much of it that I was never going to.  
  
That year my classes seemed harder and the work load more stressful. But none of that seemed to be all that important though when it came time to try out for the quidditch team. Now that Harry was back I no longer held the position of team seeker, so I was there to try out for chaser. I figured that I was a shoe in, I mean I had technically already been a member of the team, how could they turn me down? Well some how they did. Apparently my flying left something to be desired and my passing skills weren't quite up to par. After that everything just went down hill. I had really been looking forward to playing, it had been so great the year before. I guess you could say I was devastated, not that I let my family members know that. It seemed easier just to shrug it off and pretend like I didn't care.  
  
I didn't attend a single game that year, I always had something more important or interesting to do. If the others knew it was because I was bitter or held any resentment towards the team they didn't let on. I think I hated every last member of the team that year, which was something new for me, I'd never really hated anyone before. While that's besides Tom of course, but most people hate him so that didn't really count.  
  
So I guess what with not going to the quidditch games I had a lot of spare time in which I could be completely alone, since most everyone else in the school always attended. Well one day I was sitting in the middle of my four poster bed with all of my potions tools spread out around me. I had to write an essay for professor Snape on the uses and care of the different tools used in potion making, so I was looking at them all and trying to remember what each of them was for. I was twirling my knife, which was used to slice up things like herbs and other plant like things, around when all of a sudden the edge of the blade accidentally caught on the edge of my finger and sliced it open. To this day I'm still not sure why, but seeing the blood pool up in tiny little beads and begin to drip down my finger fascinated me. I'm not sure what exactly compelled me to do what I did next, but before I knew it I was running the knife experimentally across the vulnerable flesh of my wrist. The blood began to bead up there as well, a little more slowly then I liked though, so I made another one, only deeper this time. The blood began to seep out of the second one, and continued to bead up along the first. I was entranced.  
  
For the rest of that day I felt empowered some how. It was like I had this amazing dirty little secret that no one else knew about. At the same time I felt a little guilty too, I mean I knew that porously hurting myself wasn't something that I was supposed to do. I guess I sort of had mixed feelings about it, but above all I felt, in an odd sense, relieved. Now I know I'm not explaining it right, but I don't know if I really could.  
  
A/N: Okay well that's my first chapter. It's short I know, but there's more coming soon I promise! Now I'd love to get a few reviews, so please tell me what you think! 


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